birthday of me

How is your birthday? Are you really enjoy on that day?

Yes, the question is belong to me and No to birthday's celebration.

Why?
With gentle, I will say, I have no money to do such thing.

Why?
Because I'm stuck in the middle of the crisis.

Crisis?
Yes, global and my economical crisis.

I feel better now. Do you know why? Because I have to be a differ. I want to be myself and why I have to pretend if I don't have such thing to make myself proud?

At my age, 25 years old. I don't ever care about others. They are not eventually care about me.

And for me, I do not want any birthday celebration to be made because of tradition in place. I have to change the way of people thinking.

I do not want to cheer myself by giving or thanking people joining my birthday party because of sympathy or in other word, you are paying/giving people by asking them to come over your party. That bullshit.

It is not going to happen anymore at my age.

Hmm.

Therefore, I would like to say a big thanks to people who wished me via SMS.

Special thanks to nobit for the great teddy bear!

I would to say big thanks to my little sister. She is 10 years old for giving me a special gift.

she: "abg.. tunggu kejab. akak ada hadiah utk abg."
me: "yo yo je akak nie. lekaslah. abg nak balik nie."
she walked and grabbed her school bag.
she: "nah .. jangan buka kat sini tau, abg buka kat rumah, janji tau"
me: "erk. mana akak dpt duit beli hadiah nie?
she: "akak beli pakai duit akak jual batu seremban"
me: "hehe. okey".

In the car downstairs my emak's house.

I opened the wrap. I look at it. I felt like I'm going to cry. But NO, I am not going to cry here. I drove the car, 5kms from emak's house, my eyes started to tear dropping.

I could not imagine, a 10 year old kid, she's doing business with selling her "batu seremban" and kept the money just to buy me for .. huwaaa ..



I spoke and shouted to myself while crying, I never ask any gift from her. Not eventually single piece of word or not even a clue is giving.

"akak, abg berjanji, abg akan cari duit byk-byk. abg akan bawa akak ke mana-mana shj".

I felt so guilty, I felt so terrible. I felt so misserable.

Hmm. That why, every invitation to have fun and enjoy from friend of mine, I prefer to be ignored. I have to start thinking about my family, where I put them, extremely high priority.

I have to do it now, before they or me leaving this world.